Welcome back. Rejection, the feeling that everyone face before. Never in this world there’s some one that never been rejected before. In our daily lives, we will have to face rejection although we hate it. According to experts, one of the most common fears among human is rejection. The fear of rejection can stop you from keep going, it can cut brilliant people off at the knees, it can stop your daily progress.

However, the fear of rejection is not a physical thing, we can only feel it, we can’t touch it, we can grab it. You need to remember this, the fear of rejection only exist in our minds. So, have you asked yourself why are you letting this non-physical feeling control you? Why are you give this feeling the power to stole your dreams? The fearing of rejection is a habit, a bad one, the one that we don’t want to face. If it is a habit, then we can change it, we can change it with a good and healthy habit. But then, first we need to understand the concept of how this rejection works. For you to live the kind of life you want and to do what you were meant to do in this world, you need to dig deep into your fears and redefine rejection. You will have to make it less important, make it becomes smaller. And you will need to learn to stay focused and keep moving with momentum when facing with ‘NO’. Therefore, only then you can have a great gain of momentum towards the greater life you’ve always dreamed of.

Conquer Your Mental Roadblocks : Fear And Worry

I know that everyone hates the feeling of being rejected, no one is confident about everything. In our lives, we’ve always got choices, as for here, you’ve got two choices, you can either let the fear of rejection conquer and control your lives, or you can choose to conquer and control rejection. It seems easy, but most people let rejection take control of their lives. What we will need to do is to push through fear and worry and do the things you wanted to do. And the best way to do is that you need to dig deep into your fears and redefine rejection.When analyzed, most fears shrink down to nothing. As light casts out darkness, confidence melts fear and banishes worry.

Let’s take an example here, Andy is afraid of public speaking, but his deep down in his mind, he got a burning desire to be a inspirational speaker. Everytime when he faces the crowd, he will freeze and start shivering. Well, now Andy has got only two choices, either he give up to be his favourite inspirational speaker and running away, or he can choose to conquer fear. Now Andy has choose to conquer the feeling of fear, so he can start asking himself (or yourself):

1. What is the worst that could happen?
If you were to speak in front of a crowd, what is the worst that could happen? They could laugh at you or think that you’re an idiot. You might stutter and forget what you’re suppose to say and get embarrassed. But let me tell you one thing, nobody will remember how worst you are once you’ve succeed. People will only think of your good thing, trust me. Think about Thomas Edison, he failed more than thousand times, but when you ask someone about Thomas Edison, people will only told you that he is a great inventor.

2. If the worst were to happen, could he live with it?
Oh well, sure you can live with it. Take it as you’re making jokes in front of the public. You won’t get killed you won’t die if the worst were to happen. So start thinking clearly, and you will banish the fear feeling.

3. If the worst were to happen, will you lose anything?
If the public laugh at you and think that you’re an idiot, or if you did get stucked and forgot what you supposed to say, will you lose anything? Not really, maybe your pride will hurt a little, but you’re not going to lose anything permanently. Maybe you will lose a little self-esteem temporarily, but if you really think of it clearly, if you have conquer the feeling of fear, you’re actually building up your self-esteem!

4. What is the best possible outcome?
For the case here, Andy could inspired thousands of people, he could motivates people to a better life. He could then hone his skill and grow more self-confident and therefore speaks more convincingly in the future. As for you, what will be the best outcome? You will becomes a Millionaire, staying in your 20,000 ft bungalow with a swimming pool in front of it, driving your dream car Honda Civic, and all your friends will feel so jealous of all these. Nice enough?

5. Compare the worst possible outcome with the best possible outcome.
If the worst result is that Andy stutter or forget a few things or even have people laugh at him, while the best outcome is that Andy inspires and motivates people to live a better life, and he will turns to a professional speaker, you will say that the best outcome far outweight the worst. Maybe you could think of it this way, if you could conquer fear then all of your dreams will come true, isn’t that your dreams come true is much more interesting? So what are fears? They’re nothing but just a feeling that lies in your mind.

6. Based on all the facts, what is your most likely outcome?
You will only get nervous get worry if you focus on yourself, but if you take it as you’re here to serve people, to help people, your nervousness will disappear. As for Andy, he could create a mental slide show of himself on stage, with all his facts, interesting points and stories, and see himself done the presentation successfully. Andy will do very well speaking, will expect as much, and will prepare in advance and practice to make this happen easily and effortlessly.

Franklin D. Roosevelt - I’ll do what I fear and fear will disappear

See, by analyzing your fears, you can discover amazing way to push through them. And you must remember this, the feeling of fear only exist in your mind. And you should know that your mind is the most powerful resource in you (read my previous post for more info about how to unleash the power of your mind - The Powerful Resource In You). Your mind is extraordinarily amazing, it can create a movie with more amazing special effects than any movies you’ve seen, by putting the fears aside and looking them in a logical way, you will discover that the monster under the bed isn’t that scary at all.
Next, let’s see how you can redefine rejection.

Read Handling Rejection - Part 2

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Posted on May 25th, 2007 by Shawn
Filed under: Strategic Success

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